Happy Birthday, Madison!

Madison Whiteley was born today. And let me tell you, she is precious.

Amber and baby Madison

I mean, honestly.... Look at the little girl.

Amber was wonderful enough to let us come by right after she was born, and I even got to hold her! (Alot!) It was so fun to see one of my high school friends as a mom. It is clear that Amber is going to make the best mom and I am so happy for their little family.  It was so neat to see little Madison so soon and I really admire Amber for how wonderful of a mother she already is!

Now if they can just have a speedy and uneventful recovery!

It's hard to dance with the devil on your back, so shake him off

I have been listening to Florence and the Machine's "Shake it Out" all day.

I found this acoustic version yesterday and when I listened to it, I don't know how to describe it except that it just felt perfect.


Florence and the Machine - Shake It Out (Acoustic) from Pick Up The Headphones on Vimeo.

It still seems unreal to me that this is my last year of college and that soon I'll be out in the real world, getting a real job, being a real adult.  Sometimes I don't feel old enough for any of it.  But I look at where I am at and I realize how far I have come and it's exciting.  It makes me feel proud of the things I've accomplished and how much I've grown.

But yet, I still find myself fighting some of the same demons I've fought for a long time.  I hold on to these things from the past like they mean something.  Like I don't deserve to let them go.  And I don't know why.  I want so much from life, and I feel like in order to get it I have to shake off these devils--all the negativity, all the doubt, all my insecurities.  I'm learning that I can be happy with who I am.

And I am happy.

I love where I'm at.  I love what I am doing.  I love that what I'm learning is going to help me make a difference in peoples' lives and that one day I will be able to pay forward all the good fortune I've had in my life to help others.  I love that I married a man who supports me in what I do, and loves me through my flaws and failures. I am so young and I have so much to learn, but I am loving the journey that I am on.



"You hold on to your pain like it means something, like it's worth something.  Well let me tell 'ya, it's not"
- Nathaniel Fisher, Sr (Six Feet Under).

my husband games, and other things

Clay has been patiently debating whether or not to buy NBA2K12 for quite some time. Last year he bought 2K11 immediately and loved it but hasn't really felt the need to buy 2K12... that was until the lockout ended. There were a few games that came out this year that he really wanted and has gotten, so he was trying to be conservative about buying any more. But tonight he rented it from redbox and has been "test drving" it all night. That is, aside from when I made him stop so we could watch our Thursday night comedies (was it just me or was The Office on top of it's game tonight?). The point is it doesn't leave me much to do (school hasn't quite picked up yet... well, I guess it has but my textbooks just haven't come yet... whoops). Anyway, the real point is, I'm bored.

So, while he plays, I dedicate this post to my husband and all the things you might not know about him.

- He HATES being tickeled (especially his feet). Okay, so maybe you knew that, I'm not quite on a roll yet.
- He demands a particular level of attention when he is ill. I have learned that nothing cures a Clay like some good ol' fashion TLC.
- He doesn't do well with blood. He cut his hand on a cup while washing dishes yesterday and got light headed from the sight of blood. To put the cut in perspective it was WAY less intense than getting a nick on your ankle while shaving. I fear the day I give birth to a child but until then I just find this really endearing.
- He breaks a lot of things washing dishes. I think he is secretly trying to depleat the dishes supply until he no longer has to wash them ;)
- He shares blankets really well... but he is not a respecter of properly made beds. I mean, he respects it when it's there (which it rarely is) but if it's not, he will just jump in and pulls a wad of blankets over him!
- He is a sharer of socks. I don't know if he's noticed or not yet, but I'm pretty sure I've been wearing his socks for the past year... shhh.
- I know it has to drive him crazy, but he does a very good job putting up with my forgetfullness and tendancy to drop electronics in the toliet... and all those other less-flatering things about me.
- He's very good at making big perchases and doing other grown-up things. He manages a great checkbook and never forgets when things are due. I have no idea what I would do without him.
- He hates mice. He can kill any disgusting bug (again, I don't know what I would do wihout him), but mice give him the creeps. - He has really great fashion sense and can plate food like the best Chopped champion.
- He may look all macho on the outside, but on the inside he's a real softy :) And even though this post will embarrass the socks of him, he'll secretly be flattered. <3

internship prospect

I had nearly given up on finding an internship for this summer and as a last ditch effort I decided to start emailing a few organizations I found that didn't have any internship (or even volunteer) opportunities listed.  I was hesitant to do this at first because I, well, I'm not really sure except that I was probably embarrassed or afraid of rejection or something like that.  So I found a few organizations that I thought would be fun to work with and I just emailed them offering myself on a silver platter for their taking (free of charge!).  Anyway, I heard back from one of them almost right away.  Definitely nothing solid yet, but I got a bite!  She said they don't have any positions like the one I'm looking for but wants my resume and said that I would be in charge of pretty much creating the position and the program.  So I'm very excited at the prospect and very, very nervous at the same time (what a load of responsibility).  Anyway, hopefully things will work out, I'd love to complete my internship this summer.  But I've pretty much accepted that fact that it just might not happen for this summer and have come up with a plan B that's not so bad.  Finding internships is a lot harder than I thought..

BUT in other news, I'm almost done!  After this year I'll have one more semester.  If I can do my internship during the summer I'll be able to postpone humanities one more semester and I'll be able to take another elective (yay!).  But if I can't, I'll just bundle my internship with the three classes I'll have left and be done!

I started looking for jobs last night, just to see what's out there and it made me really excited to have my bachelors degree completed.  Finding internships is hard, but I'm positive finding the perfect job is harder.  And I want it to be perfect (don't burst my bubble, I'll do it later).  I did find a lot of really interesting jobs with salaries (big ones! well, at least compared to any other job I've ever had) and benefits and retirement plans and all kinds of grown-up things!  I'm sure I will start to miss school a little bit once I'm out in the real world, but that's what graduate school is for, right?  Eventually I'd love to go on to get my masters (something like Public Policy or Public Administration) and work on a policy level to create healthier communities and schools.

Anyway, this was probably a little boring to read but with the new year around the corner, the future is on my mind!

Merry Christmas!

Oregon was lovely and I did take some pictures!  But don't expect to see them because.. I lost my camera!  I really am the worst at keeping track of things. Flying without my ID went pretty smoothly.  Although the TSA lady on our way back was way intense and kept making me find things with my name on them (luckily I never clean my purse out).

In other embarrassing news:
We ended up sitting in the emergency exit lane on the plane on our way back and after the emergency briefing the flight attendant asked how old I was.  Afterward I noticed the plaque about the window that said "Passengers under 15 can not sit in emergency row"... how humiliating.  She even added "You just look so young" like that was supposed to help... a.k.a. you look fourteen.  Awesome... what every (nearly) 22 year-old wants to hear.

Ebeneezer

Clay and I are heading out to Oregon in the morning, and I absolutely can not wait.  I finally found my camera charger so hopefully I'll get some good pictures of this trip.  We will be there until Christmas Eve, then we'll head back to Fillmore to spend the remainder of the break with Clay's family.  It's so nice to finally be done with finals and get in the Christmas spirit.  We have been listening to Christmas music for a few weeks, but we never got around to putting up a tree. Can't you believe it... ?!  How sad.  We even have these two little Christmas trees outside our front door that I really wanted to put some ornaments on.  Definitely slacked this year..

hawaii

Clay and I decided that for our anniversary we wanted to go on a trip instead of getting each other gifts.  It took us awhile to figure out what we wanted to do, but when our friends Jordan and Hailey told us they were going to Hawaii and we should come, we made up our minds.  So it was a bit of a belated anniversary trip but it was still so nice.

We started the trip off with a sleep over at the airport.  By the time we finally decided to book our flights, Jordan and Hailey's flight had gone up in price so we booked the next closest one.  There's left at 2am, ours left at 7am.  Jordan's brother Jeff decided to come last minute too and his flight left right around the same time as ours.  Once we got to the airport Hailey and Jordan had to go to the other end to check in and Jeff, Clay, and I started going through security.  Well, it turns out you can only check your bag in the day of your flight and since technically our flight was the next day, Jeff couldn't check his bag in until 4am when they opened again in the morning.  So instead of getting to sleep on the benches on the other side of security (the side with the food!) we had to sleep all night on the floor of the airport.  I swore they were going to kick us out, I was so nervous.  I snagged this picture of the guys when I woke up at 3 to the vacuums.

Clay and Jeff asleep at the airport

The flight was fine and I finally got to eat a Cinn-a-Bon in San Francisco where we had our lay over, so that made the whole floor-sleeping okay.  Driving from the airport to Hailey's sister's house (where we were staying) in Leia I felt like we were driving through the island on Lost.  I couldn't believe how lush and gorgeous it was.  It was love at first sight.  We got there Tuesday afternoon and were there until Sunday.  Most of the trip was spent finding delicious places to eat and fun, inexpensive things to do.  It's been awhile so I'll just try and highlight a couple of the adventures.

Driving around the North Shore

At first I thought it might be a bummer to stay on the North Shore because I was under the impression there would probably be more to do in Honolulu, but after a couple days on the island and a trip to Wakiki I realized that the North Shore is the only place to stay.  I'm not totally against the whole tourist thing, in fact I generally embrace it whole-heartedly, but the North Shore felt so much more like how I pictured Hawaii.  It was lush and beachy, but it wasn't too populated and most of the stores were local and unique.  I really enjoyed it.

One of our favorite places was a beach just up the road from where we stayed.  We had visited one of the first days we were there and then went back toward the end of the trip because we heard the waves were really big.  Jeff, Jordan, and Clay waded out into the deep water where 5 foot waves an intense rip-tide gave them all a little whip lash.  It was really funny to watch, but I stayed on shore (mostly out of fear for my life).  I wish I would have gotten pictures of them, it was hilarious.

Leonard's was one of our first stops.  I don't remember who had heard about it or where, but they have the most delectable bakery there... oh my gosh, the malasadas were to die for!  I literally wanted to try everything.

After Leonard's we headed to Hanauma Bay where we wanted to go snorkeling.  Unfortunately by the time we got up there the parking lot was already full so we headed back to Laie to try snorkeling at Shark's Cove.  (If you're wondering, Leonard's was totally worth it!)  There were strong waves and a bunch of jagged rocks (actually I think it was dead coral, I'm not sure though).  I was a little bit nervous at first but once I got the hang of it, I really enjoyed it.

Sharks Cover, our first snorkeling location

The next day we left super early and were able to make it to Hanauma Bay before it got full.

Hanauma Bay

There were a lot more people at Hanamu Bay, which we had been warned about, but I didn't think it was that bad.  The water was a lot calmer, so I wasn't nervous and I got to see a lot more fish.  It was incredible all the different shapes and colors.  One of my favorites looked like serbert ice cream.  If I could do it again, I would buy an underwater camera... or five.  I absolutely loved it.  The best part, we saw three sea turtles!! Well, maybe we saw the same one twice, but there were definitely two different turtles.  They are really majestic creatures and if anyone ever asked me my favorite animal, I'd probably pick the sea turtle.  They move really slow and they just look so kind with their big eyes.  I dove down to one and watched him eat until I got light headed from holding my breath... It really was so neat.

Me, Clay, Jeff, Hailey, and Jordan after a day of snorkeling!

One of my friends from high school moved to Hawaii to go to BYU Hawaii and we were able to meet up on Saturday.  I hadn't seen her in 5 years and it was so good to see her again and to meet her husband (they are way too cute together).  In some ways it felt like it had only been a couple of weeks since the last time I saw her, it was really nice.  We went to this local breakfast place down the road from where we were staying, (the one mentioned in 50 First Dates, except the one they show in the movie, isn't the same one.. anyway) where I got coconut pancakes (yum!).  After we went to the beach and Cheka and Mahki taught us how to boogie board.  It was a lot of fun once we got the hang of it.

I decided when we first got to Hawaii that I was going to be extra cautious not to get sunburned.  I got a really bad one this summer and it was miserable so I decided that I wouldn't let that happen on vacation. Well, I guess I forgot on Saturday because I definitely ended up getting some sun, but it wasn't too bad.

Unfortunately Cheka and Mahki had work so we split up in the afternoon.  And even more unfortunate is we didn't take a single picture together!  But Cheka told us about this wonderful homemade ice cream place in town, and we went there that night.  Which doesn't have anything to do with the fact that we didn't take a picture together, and it didn't quite make up for it, but it sure was delicious.  I got the coconut ice cream and it was divine.  I could have eaten it all day.

We met this really fun mother-daughter couple outside the ice cream place.  They were from Iraq and the daughter was taking her mother on a trip to the different Hawaiian islands.  It was so much fun to talk to them and to hear about their lives.

One of our first days there we tried Motsumotos Shaved Ice which was divine and totally worth the wait.  You can get your shaved ice topped with sweetened condensed milk!  I don't think it gets any better than that.  If I were to do it again, I would totally splurge on the $0.25 holder for my cup... I got pretty messy.  This was by far the best shaved ice place we tried.

Pearl Harbor Memorial

  We also went to the Pearl Harbor Memorial and museum which was really neat.  It was a really beautiful site and very sobering.  That night we searched for Waikiki Beach (who knew it would be so hard to find), did some window shopping, and ate at this yummy little Italian place.

Our last night we were there we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center.  It was really fun to go to each of the villages and learn about the different cultures.  As we were leaving we realized that there were little activities that you could do at each place... whoops.  I think those would have been a lot of fun.  We did get to go to the even show, Ha: Breath of Life.  It was amazing!! Definitely my favorite part of the day.

All of us at the PCC

It was such a fun vacation and it was even more fun getting to share it with our friends!